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Archive for the ‘take that!’ Category

‘If you want to serve the age, betray it’

May 9, 2008

I first read this in Pambie’s blog. It’s an old piece. It’s a Commencement Address by Bono, co-founder of DATA (Debt AIDS Trade Africa), and lead singer of U2, at the University of Pennsylvania, May 17, 2004. Our new graduates – and you who have chosen to forget what education is for – might want […]

Festival madness

May 3, 2008

WHILE you’re reading this, presumably over froccino and choco chip cookies, school children elsewhere in the province are being made up in the image and likeness of mermaids and fairies and ogres in a bucolic dream of placing their barangay in the self-conscious map called tourism. We’re becoming an island of festivals and all you […]

Pull those pants up

March 14, 2008

More and more cities around the world are cracking (har!) down on saggy pants. I heard some cebu city officials (too old to show butt flesh) are thinking of drafting the same ordinance here. Hip-hop fans, I may not agree with your drop-pants butt-crack philosophy (it will be the embarassment of your youth ten years […]

Little boy Manny

February 25, 2008

Please, please, stop dissing Manny Pacquiao for his gambling and womanizing. He’s just a child. Ask his friend Erik.

Skinny jeans

February 2, 2008

The “skinny” is that hideous garment that for about two years now has fooled women into thinking they look 50 pounds skinnier in it. But the skinny is that hideous garment that only displaces all those fat elsewhere and to the top of the waist up to the neck, making women look like chicken lollipops.

Those creepy songs about rodents

February 1, 2008

Back to Tom Reynold’s ‘Touch Me I’m Sick – The 52 creepiest love songs you’ve ever heard’. Sorry, I can’t get enough of this book. It’s just that somebody has to remind us constantly how many of the songs we love really suck, and how cutesy melodies can sanitize really awful lyrics. Especially if the […]

Funny band names

January 29, 2008

If you had a band, what would you call it? Suggestions: 1) Nasal Sex With Broken Glass 2) Pelvic Meatloaf 3) Dracula Does Calculus 4) A Cat Born In An Oven Isn’t A Cake Unless you have great music, we can forgive you, like we forgave the ‘Beatles’ and the ‘Eraserheads,’ two great bands with […]

Let’s do the beso-beso

January 28, 2008

As this column aims to educate, let’s start with etymology. According to my research — which involved the arduous process of typing keywords and clicking search — the word beso is Spanish for “kiss”, as in “beso de Judas”. Do the inflection and you will have “Bésame, bésame mucho, como si fuera esta noche la […]

Little ditties about oral sex and masturbation 2

January 14, 2008

I promise this will be the last post about oral sex and masturbation. The only reason I included it here is that the song showed how a powerful melody can numb the listener from lyrics that are otherwise gross or offensive. I’m reminded of ‘Gugmang Giatay’ by the Ambassadors. Before this song became a hit, […]

Worst songs of all time

January 13, 2008

I googled for the worst songs of all time and my suspicions were confirmed, that “MacArthur Park” would top the list. This song never failed to make it to the top ten in all the lists that popped up. Dig this – MacArthur Park is melting in the dark All the sweet, green icing flowing […]