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In the company of Zorro and other drags

Let’s forget for a while the decent rules of argumentation and debate and pretend that name calling is the only morally acceptable technique in crushing one’s political opponent.

If you were not busy anticipating Beijing last week, you would notice how our politicians provided us with a different kind of Olympics by calling each other names. Here are some of the names they used and what they mean in contemporary or historical usage.

Queen of Darkness. Try googling “queen + darkness” and you’ll see nothing on your screen but black laced panties and black dildos. “Gothic sex rules,” it says. I don’t know how to have sex the gothic way. And I don’t want to know if it has any significance to our research. What I like best is the song “Little Miss Queen of Darkness” by The Kinks, a British Invasion band in the 60s. It goes: Little Miss Queen of Darkness / Although she looked so happy / There was sadness in her eyes / And her curly false eyelashes / Weren’t much of a disguise / And her bright and golden hair / Was not all that it might seem / Little Miss Queen of Darkness / Dances sadly on.

Drag Lord. My research insisted on “drug lord,” so I settled for the word “drag.” As an intransitive verb it means “to pull along with difficulty or effort; haul.” As a transitive one, it means “to lag behind, to pass or proceed slowly, tediously, or laboriously.” The noun is more graphic. It means “a harrow or an implement for spreading manure.” It impedes progress, a drawback, burden. Its adjective is more colorful: “relating to, or being a person wearing clothing characteristic of the opposite sex.”

Zorro (and Zorro’s wife). Zorro is a creation of writer Johnston McCulley. Spanish for Fox, Zorro is Don Diego de la Vega, a nobleman and swordsman living in the Spanish colonial era of California. He is typically portrayed as black-clad masked outlaw, the mask presumably to cover giant eye bags. He is too cunning to catch. And he delights in publicly humiliating his enemies. What about his wife? In The Legend Of Zorro (2005), Zorro (Antonio Banderas) is a funny drunk and jealous husband to wife Elena (Catherine Zeta-Jones) who can be as merciless as Zorro against the enemy if she wants to. Change Zorro’s eye bags to black eyes.

Narcissistic. Of course, we know Narcissus to be a handsome, vain young man so enamored of his own image that he spent all his waking hours at the mall because there were lots of mirrors there. As he was entranced by his own image in a display mirror, he became so fixed in that position that security guards, who thought he was planning a robbery, beat the hell out of him. He turned into a flower, which bloomed by the side of streams and ponds, but faced downward at the water’s surface.

Alcoholic. There are too many to mention, so let’s just have three of the well known. Ulysses S. Grant’s drinking was brought on by boredom. Meaning, if he wasn’t busy pummeling Robert E. Lee’s army, he got wasted. Edgar Allan Poe published much of his now-famous literature in between bouts of drinking, until at age 40, he was found lying unconscious, too boozed up to say “Amontillado”. Iosif Vissarionovich Dzhugashvili adopted the name Joseph Stalin (“Man of Steel”) in the early 1900s as he moved toward Marxism. He gained enough power to execute those who thought a gulag was a steel factory.

Bayot. Now, this one’s difficult because it’s unimaginative when used against the enemy. So, should we give this word a thought? Shodi.

SUN.STAR OPINION, AUG. 12, 2008

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5 Responses to “In the company of Zorro and other drags”

  1. gusto ko ni iplagiarize.

  2. permission granted. 🙂

  3. “Shodi.”
    -bayuta!

  4. Hello, favorite Tuesday Writer….

    Tom & Gwen – they do liven up the scene.
    they could do with a writer such as you, if they ever run out of verbal bullets to fire at each other…

  5. @ rei: bayuta gyud! hehehe
    @ imelda: hi mam meldz.”Hello, favorite Tuesday Writer” – ningdako akong atay mam. help. hehehe. thanks mam meldz. 🙂


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