mga awit ug yawit sa kasingkasing bisaya

Pageants encouraged in schools

MANILA – The Department of Education’s Committee on the Promotion of the English Language Through Beauty Pageants and Other Funny Activities issued yesterday a memorandum urging all schools to hold more beauty contests to arrest the decline of English proficiency in the country.

The memorandum was issued two days after last Saturday’s Binibining Pilipinas pageant at the Araneta Coliseum. It said the country’s education officials were so elated at how the contestants breezed through the Question and Answer (Q & A) portion that they want other students to emulate the example.

It said that after the success of the Beauty Pageant Wave, a program of the Committee on the Promotion of Congeniality Through Beauty Pageants and Other Funny Activities, it is now Q & A’s turn to uplift the country’s standard of education.

“While we now enjoy the fruits of our labor in promoting the Wave, let us not sit on our laurels. There’s still the decline in English Proficiency to think of. We’re confident the Q & A can do the job,” an education official, who requested anonymity, said.

The memo includes guidelines on how questions should be formulated to encourage brilliant answers. The samples include “If you were a frog, which country would you prefer and why?” and “If your house were a rainbow, which color is your mother’s room and why?”

“I don’t have a problem with ‘World Peace’ questions,” another education official, who also requested anonymity, said. “Our youth should strive to be like Mother Theresa. But we need questions that will encourage them to think out of the box and help them remember their adverbs like ‘actually,’ and helpful phrases like ‘well, as for me.’”

To stress that the program is meant to promote global competitiveness among the youth, the memo includes samples of excellent answers to beauty pageant questions worldwide. It cites last year’s Miss Teen USA that launched the YouTube career of Miss Teen South Carolina.

To the question why one fifth of Americans can’t locate the US on a map, as shown in surveys, Miss South Carolina answered: “I personally believe that US Americans are unable to do so because some people out there in our nation don’t have maps and that I believe our education like such as South Africa and the Iraq, and everywhere, such as, and I believe that they should our education over here in the US, should help the US, or should help South Africa and help the Iraq and the Asian countries so that we will be able to build out our future for us.”

“If only our young girls could talk like that,” the two education officials, who insisted to remain unknown, said. With last Saturday’s Binibining Pilipinas pageant, however, education officials see a bright future as the event showed the country’s youth are not really that far behind. The memorandum ends with an excerpt from the pageant’s Q & A (name of contestant withheld as she is a minor).

“Question: What role did your family play for you as candidate to Binibining Pilipinas? Answer: Well, my family’s role for me es so important, becos… der was dow, dir, dey was da one… whoo’s…very… haha… oh, I’m so sorry. Um, my pami-ley, my fami-ley… oh my God. I’m… OK, I’m so sorry. I, I told you dat I’m so honfident. Eto, ahmm wait: Ahahahaha. Um, sorry guys becos des was really my perst pageant ever! Because I’m only seventeen years old. And, ahaha-hee. I, I did not ikspek dat I came from… I came from one of da taff ten. Hmm… So… but I said, dot… my family es da most important persons in my life. Tenk you.” (PR)

(, march 11, 2008)


17 Responses to “Pageants encouraged in schools”

  1. hahaha well sed insoy, nahan kau ko pagka transcribe sa excerpt dah. dli gyd creative transcription heheheh…
    btaw, that kid is a bomber as in “bang” “butangi” !!! witheld man iyang name so dli nlang nko pun.a ug insult to injury…
    hapit gyd ko matagak sa banko kinatawa, when my sister sent me that youtube link, gusto pa raba unta cya mo subscribe to see the live feed sa show last saturday (central time)

  2. “The memo includes guidelines on how questions should be formulated to encourage brilliant answers.”
    -Like if you’re blind, what would be your favorite color?
    “I like black. Black is confident. Black looks good. Looking good means no dandruff. Confidence means no dandruff. Clear means no dandruff. I trust clear. Dandruff never comes back. My name is REI.”
    hahahaha.. guba.a ato oi.. at least those ‘educational officials’ from the ‘The Department of Education’s Committee on the Promotion of the English Language Through Beauty Pageants and Other Funny Activities’ are doing something regarding on this serious national matter… *wink!

  3. There are many other class activities or school activities that develop critical thinking skills, linguistic skills, reading skills, and all other skills under the sun. Whew! Why not enhance literature-based teaching instead of beauty pageants?

  4. Contestants should pass entrance exams before any pageants. Or the Q&A should come first during the event. Unya nalang nang mga swimsuit og uban pa…

  5. the dusty bookshelves in our libraries is not really a good sign, most of our kids today would rather go to paseo and mango..
    di man kay sa niingon ko nga dapat way manglaag, dapat makahibaw lang sila mo-balance.. nsaon man ng porma kung di man gali kahibaw mo-iningles,=)..

  6. After watching the Miss Philippines World’s debacle of a response, I have never been more embarassed to be of Filipino descent .

    Living in the United States all my life, we usually take pride that Filipinos/Filipino-Americans are renowned to traditionally have a great command in the English language. It is one of our generalized attributes in a rapidly increasing multi-cultured American society.

    Her English was simply atrocious ! It was so bad that many Filipino-Americans are now identifying themselves as Indonesian-Americans !

    However, she is very thin, tall and beautiful. Well, her being thin gives her the stereotype of having a “loose” pec-pec. Thin girls usually have loose pec-pecs for one reason or the other.

    Damn, life can be a bitch sometimes, right?

  7. Insoymada,

    Love your page. There is this page titled “Hermatildaness” that is hard to believe.

    This poor child thinks by creating a blog to criticize the new Miss World Philippines that she would be actually challenging her to do better.

    All is fair in love and war, however, she posted a photo of herself when responding to comments.

    Now, many of my friends and colleagues observed her less than perfect writing skills, then tried to connect her logic in addition to her manly, god forsaken, gorilla-jaws-queen-kong features and asked this question, “Why is a Queen Kong lookin’ F.O.B. trying to motivate a drop dead beautiful Filipina babe whose English is as bad as Queen Malitda-Kong’s writing skills?

    It is like a Chinese man encouraging a black man how to be well more ENDOWED?

    Go figure?

  8. P.S.

    Now, the difference between your page and “Queen-Kong’s” is that we know “what” your blogs are all about from the gate. As far as we are concerned, no holds barred, you let it rip.

    In comparison, in reference to Matilda-Jaws-Kong, an ugly woman concerned with a beautiful beauty queen creating a page of criticism, then having the AUDACITY to guise her intentions under the guise of “challenging” is so hypocritical, the thought of it would be in line with the “far-fetched but true” topical the themes you display.

    Queen-Matilda-Kong’s posting of her photo made it ridiculous for anyone to take her intentions with sincerity.

    A dorm mate of mine stated that ” ‘Matilda-Jaws-Kong’ was so ugly when she was born, that the doctor slapped her mother!”

    You my good man are what we call “honorable” Filipino-nationals. She is a true F.O.B. We hate two-faced people!

  9. In line with the comments of my roomates;

    Had Queen-Kong “not” have posted her photo, we would not even be posting any comments. The fact that she did may be a blessing in disguise. A friend, who happens to be studying film-editing, noted that Universal Pictures is in the midst of remaking the 1975 classic horror film “Jaws”. She is greatly considered to play the shark, given her facial features. The cool thing about it is she does not need a costume! That would save the executive producers a “whole hell of a lot of money”, that is for damn sure.

    You continue on with your “outrageous but true” topical themes and hope everything goes well.


  10. What is the difference between Matilda-Kong and an English bulldog?

    Answer: The bulldog is more attractive!

    Matilda-Kong was 4th runner-up at the Miss Kabayo beauty contest.

    The problem was, there were only TWO contestants! What a F.O.B. LOL,

  11. To the blogger named Al,

    I know what you’re sayin’ ! I like girls with a little bit of meat. More “cushion for the pushin'”…you know what I mean?

    As beautiful and fine as Ms. San Miguel is, she is kind of on the thin side.

    Girls that are thin have loose vaginal muscles. I had a beautiful bu thin girlfriend years ago and she supposedly didn’t have that much experience. When we did the “wild-thang” one night, she was so “loose” I almost fell in! Hell, a whole damn “victory liner” could have driven in that tunnel, plus the passengers. I’m Filipino and black, and with that combo, nothin’ this loose.

    Now, a few years later, and twenty pounds of adobo and flan, hey, it was all good.

    More cushion for the pushin’…you know what I mean?

    Don’t laugh! American women know these facts for sure;

    1) Once white women have “dark brown” or “black”,

    …they always come back…

    2) Once they have Filipino brown,

    …they always come back around…

    3) Once they have yellow,
    …they wonder is it a woman or a fellow?…

    3) Once a woman has white,

    …hey, somethin’ ain’t right…

    4) One a woman has Chinese…

    …they ask, “where is it please?”

    5) If a man ever had Matilda, who is not pretty…
    …the fellow must be BLIND, and need lots of pity…

    DAAAAAMN! LOL…I am a poet and bro’ I DAMN SURE I KNOW IT!


  12. Now, Insoymada.

    No disrespect, but what the hell is happening to English in the Philippines?

    Man, we used to be known to speak grammatically correct English in times past, despite various degrees of accents.

    Old school Filipinos -from the Philippines- would talk with various degrees of accents but were grammatically sound.

    The Americans would be confused in the beginning of the association. But after getting know them, they pretty much got used to the accent and found it very easy to communicate, and sometimes were complimented that their accents made thier English sound elegant in addition to subliminally messaging a high degree of intelligence.

    These ladies ‘all’ had atrociously terrible grammar despite clear pronounciations lined with accents. It is not the accents in question, it is the lack of command of being able to hold a decent conversation in English -not Taglish.

    It is very tragic, when compared to Filipino-nationals in the past who were praised to speak English with eloquence despite the accents. Sad, really.

  13. The difference between old-school Filipino nationals and the ones like Miss Philippines is that the former believed that English was “their” language along with Tagalog.

    They were not intimated, nor did they solely put all their “national-identity” in Tagalog. Their “accents” did not deter their confidence, nor did they excuse thier English as being thier “second” language. It is thier co-language -not by choice- but theirs nonetheless. They made the best of it and became praised for it here in the U.S.

    I know of a family friend, who is American that happened to be an ex-Marine, that was stationed in the Philippines in the 70’s. He noted that despite the Philippines being a “3rd world nation”, when traveling into the “barrios” he was pleasantly surprised that even in small towns far from the bases and Manila, the people spoke solid and good English. It was he who noted that after a few days, he forgot Filipinos had “any” accents AT ALL! That says volumes.

    Why? Because English back then was PART of the Filipino persona, despite the sometimes thick accents.

    That my friend is what the Filipinos have lost. They are looking for their “identities” as a race and through a sole national language. A few extremists blame the two colonial intrusions for the present economic atrocities and have valid and justifiable facts for their beliefs.

    However, one forgets that a national identity does not guarantee food on the table. My opinion is use Filipino, English and maybe someday Spanish, and turn the tables and kick “their” butts. Why not? We didn’t ask for colonialization. So we take what they left and give them a run for their money. That’s the attitude old school Filipinos had.

    Then of course, you have people like Matilda-Kong who needs a plastic surgery as soon as possible. Hey, you have to love everybody, but you don’t have to LIKE them.

  14. Oh yes, the reason why “HerMatildaNess” is receiving all this berating is based on four things.

    1) Any American or American born Filipino is raised with having “others” praise you for your accomplishments not one praising himself. In her intro to “laughing” at Miss Philippines, she noted that her affiliation with Miss Philippines Universe connecting their similarities of being products of the University of Santo Tomas. First red flag.

    2) In her doing so, we -my colleagues and roomates- read through the comments including her rebuttals. She responded to a blogger named MARVIC that she created the blog to “challenge” Miss World Philippines to “do better”. Second red flag.

    3) We looked at her photo, which in all honesty is not becoming, then we proof-read her English writing skills on that particular page and her info-profile, which by American standards were far from perfect. Third red flag.

    4) We expected more integrity from a University of Santo Tomas graduate, being that two of my colleagues -Filipino nationals -graduated from that prestigous institution and are here in the U.S. in respective graduate programs. They are the ones who spearheaded this berating. They are the ones who questioned the authenticity of Queen Kong’s affiliation with UST. Ironic, isn’t it?

    My roomates and colleagues, both male and female, are Americans of Filipino descent.

    After the third “red flag”, we all concluded she crossed that fine line of integrity (in terms of the freedom to blog) to arrogance.

    Thus, the berating took place and we started negatively sending comments drenched with vulgarity and derogatory cliches like crazy -which understanably were not posted.

    On one hand, she has every right to think we are better than her, based on our berating comments.

    On the other hand, about 15 of us American-born Filipinos and Filipino-nationals were defending Janina San Miguel. That should tell you something.

    We know she -Matilda the Hun- may be your colleague, so we are just giving you the “heads-up.” We don’t expect our comments on your page to be posted, but we do feel accountable to you to explain ourselves, for we have truly enjoyed your page.

    Think what you may for it is your right. We are no better than Matilda. The difference is, we were DEFENDING a fellow Filipina, albeit a beauty queen, while she created a page to garner and CRITICIZING someone under the umbrella of “challenging” one to do better. It is this hyprocisy that many Americans do not tolerate.

    So, with that said, Mabuhay Filipinas and may Janina pose in a Playboy magazine someday. People have commented she’s only beauty with no brains, however, it does have some monetary benefits in the long run. Give it up for Ms. San Miguel, and remember, whether she wins the Miss World contest or not, she doesn’t pay our rent. So what the hell is all the fuss about may I ask?

  15. Many immigrant nurses in the mid-1960’s and 70’s, particularly in San Diego in particular, California in general, were also praised for the ability to speak and understand Spanish as their third language and were a gem of a commodity.

    How “bizzare” is that considering how the majority of Filipinos feel about that particular language?

    Seems to me that if even only a small but formidable population, such as the provinces of Zamboanga and Cebu only were to be fluent in Spanish as a “3rd language” would be bizaare but outrageously useful…think about it!

  16. HerMatildaNess told her Chinese boyfriend about a dream that she had. (She really didn’t love him, just wanted his money).

    She dreamt that she was at an auction. She told her boyfriend that they were auctioning off “big penises” for $1000 and “little penises” for $10.

    Chinese boyfriend asked Matilda, “Honey, how much was a penis my size worth?” Matilda, with an attitude vicously responded “They didn’t have a price for a penis your size.”

    The next morning, the Chinese boyfriend had a similar dream. He told Matilda he dreamt of being at an auction where they were auctioning off “tight pec-pecs” for $1000 and “massively loose pec-pecs” for $10.

    Matilda, with her proud ‘attititude’ asked, “Honey, how much was a pec-pec my size going for?

    Chinese boyfriend smiles and responds; “Matilda, where do you think the auction was held?

  17. Miss Teen South Carolina answered that question badly, but she’s still got her looks to fall back on…

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