insoymada
mga awit ug yawit sa kasingkasing bisaya

‘My pami-ley’

The time I spent transcribing this could have been spent on beer. It’s Sunday. But it’s OK. This is the greatest moment in our country’s beauty pageant history.

HOW TO WIN IN THE BINIBINING PILIPINAS PAGEANT

Host: Number 15, Janina San Miguel. Janina, how are you?

Janina: I’m fine.

Host: Alright. So you won two of the major awards – best in long gown, best in swimsuit – do you feel any pressure right now?

Janina: No, I don’t feel any pressure right now.

Host: Confident! Alright! Please choose a name of a judge…. We have Ms Vivienne Tan.

Tan: Good evening.

Janina: Good evening.

Tan: The question is what role did your family play for you as candidate to Binibining Pilipinas?

Janina: Well, my family’s role for me es so important, becos… der was dow, dir, dey was da one… whoo’s…very… haha… oh, I’m so sorry. Um, my pami-ley, my fami-ley… oh my God. I’m… OK, I’m so sorry. I, I told you dat I’m so honfident. Eto, ahmm wait: Ahahahaha. Um, sorry guys becos des was really my perst pageant ever! Because I’m only seventeen years old. And, ahaha-hee. I, I did not ikspek dat I came from… I came from one of da taff ten. Hmm… So… but I said, dot… my family es da most important persons in my life. Tenk you.

Advertisements

24 Responses to “‘My pami-ley’”

  1. waaaaah! pila mi ka minutes jud mi nagkatawa dri!!! lol!
    she should have answered the safest one…
    “my pami-ley es da most important persons in my life… AND WORLD PEACE!” *wink!
    waaaah! gubaa! hehehe.. 😀

  2. wahehe. i remember u joining ms gay noy! wahehehe

  3. hoy, tsiloy. wa ko niapil og miss gay oi!! amew! SEARCH FOR MR. BODY BUILDER to! 🙂

  4. hahaha.. joining ms. gay ei.
    hehehe
    bugoya..

  5. “Brains can be trained”, a friend says.

    This will encourage Rep. Eduard Gullas to pursue House Bill 305 (Proposed Act to Strengthen and Enhance the Use of English as the Medium of Instruction in Philippine Schools).

    This reminds me also the column of Juan L. Mercado in Sun Star Cebu – “He is the Cow”.

    It’s sad but she won – that calls for a celebration!

  6. and she’s gonna represent the Philippines for Ms. World?!?!?!?!
    what the?!?!?!!?!??!… training jud ni! training!

  7. mao to syang nakadaug kay hunahuna sa judge mao ni syang bayhana ang nirepresentar sa tinuod nga estado ug nawong sa atong nasud… it ain’t called karabaw-english for nothing.

  8. Misugyot ang akong higala nga kay Binibining Pilipinas man na, Filipino ang gamiton nga pinulongan. Kay inig-abot ana sa gawas (internaional contest) pwede man naay translator.

    Pero paminaw nako dili man lang “language barrier” ang nahitabo mao nga naingon niadto ang tubag ni Janina.

  9. Kawawa naman….Nagpakahirap siya sa Pagsagot ng English,May Tagalog naman….

  10. gosh! nakakahiya. sana naman natagalog na lang sya kasi Binibining Pilipinas ang sinalhihan nya at magpasalamat na lang tayo na hindi MS. UNIVERSE ang sinalihan nya. Sana naman mag-aral sya ng IELTS para mag-improve naman at para hindi nakakahiya sa ibang bansa.

  11. marisep! it’s so typical: another case of filipino history repeating itself over and over again. this isn’t the first time that a girl so booba ending up winning the pageant. beauty pageants have always been shadowed with scandals ranging from issues of age to nationality problems. no wonder it’s been ages since we saw the likes of gloria diaz and margie moran. it’s about time we get serious on pushing english as the medium of instruction in all schools in the philippines. we are definitely losing our edge to other countries as an english-speaking nation in asia. anyway, i thought your article was hilarious! marisep!

  12. faet! maypa WORLD PEACE nalang diretso iyang gi-answer…

  13. ano daw?????? its not d murdered english language alone dats our prob hr but she didnt make sense at all. grammar can be learned but intelligience ….. oh my! let’s not look forward to Ms. World. der is nothing for us der!

  14. What’s worse, Janina responding with imperfection or Kris Aquino complaining that she got V.D. from her “pamily”?

    One bitch decided to spread her legs and the other decided to open her mouth.

    People, whether one says VD or BD, pamily or family, pec-pec or fec-fec, marijuana or mary jane, clitoris or vaginal hanging tissue, kaka or tae, horny or in heat, a Chinese penis or a needle…IT’S ALL THE SAME!

    B-HOUSE!

  15. I don’t care what anyone says! She may not have brains, but any red-blooded man, in heat, would love to “puk” her! (These days, some women would like to try to!)

  16. Gentlemen,

    You know the drill.

    a)Some women you take home to show your mama.

    b) Then, some women you take to the hotel so you could introduce her to your “great BIG-DADDY!”

  17. Pol, be care pol, okay? You might pol into the pol, and you will look like a crazy pol.

    Paul, be careful, okay? You might fall into the pool, and you will look like a crazy fool.

    Filipino English Aptitude Question;

    “Honey, let’s go to the apartment and let’s start “pucking”.

    a) The couple is preparing to go on vacation and to start putting clothes in their luggages?

    b) The couple is going home to make babies?

    P-HOUSE!

  18. Insoymada, you are one of the cool ones. Now, what baffles most of us in this dorm is, all these comments -some justified – may I add are funny. For dudes, hey, no holds barred…let her rip.

    But for the FOBBY ladies, who create a page, then taking shots, well they have that right. Two bloggers, herMatildaness (Queen Kong Jaws) and some bitch named JINKY (Stinky) we actually challenged to create a video that display “their” usage of English. American born Filipinos want to see if their depth to articulate in English gives them merit to “rag” on someone else. Don’t get us wrong, a Fob is a fob is a fob. Curiosity, that’s all. Go figure?

  19. P.S.

    To our surprise, our comments haven’t even been printed, nor have they even addressed the issue. We give them thier nicknames Queen-Kong and Stinky based on their photos they chose to display.

    Queen Kong Matilda Jaws looks like a lesbian, while Jinky Stinky has an extremely huge mouth capable of swallowing any tubular shaped fruit at one time. Typical FOBS, who probably need to carwash their pecpecs and watch the now popular Broadway production named “the Vagina Monologues”.

    The play is about human vaginas going through life and expressing life’s ups and downs. Hey, if you don’t believe me, google it yourself.

    Peace!

  20. Goodness gracious. I just checked out HerMatildaNess’ profile page.

    Check it out, she writes;

    1) “The title of ‘Matilda’ has been MARRIED TO MY NAME AROUND AGES AGO?” What in hell is that?

    2) “But, let me clear all these?” WHAT?

    Now, who are we supposed to be laughing at? Ms Philippines or this fobby girl?

    The fact that she may be able to write in two languages just proves to the world that she is STUPID in two languages and not just one. This girl is embarassing. Matilda-Ruby, or whatever the hell your name is, YOU ARE EMBARASSING.

  21. I think this Matilda meant to say was;

    1) I decided a long time ago that the name Matilda, would be identify my personality like if it were a married name.

    2) But, let me be clear.

    This child has problems y’all. BIG BIG Problems!

  22. Dear Mr. Ensoymada,

    You seem like an open minded Filipno national with a comic spin, and I’m a little concerned. The term Asian seems to be the popular term to generalize Chinese, Japanese, Filipino..no doubt. It is justified geographically. However, because of the strong cultural Hispanic influence of the P.I., the Philippines always were a question mark.

    Well, the popular theory in the States, Latin America and Europe is that Chinese men have repulsively small penises. Asian, really-especiallly here in the States, Canada and Latin America- is a politcally correct term for “Chinese”.

    Now, if you think this is NOT a popular generalization, may I ask that you, and your kompadres, go to YAHOO, click to ANSWERS, and type in either;

    “Why do Asians have small penises?”
    “Why do Chinese have small penises?”

    Now, the term Filipino, Pacific Islander, or Hispano-Asian may seem more appropriate, being that Filipino men are hands-down the premiere lovers of Asia, and most endowed (not Chinese-Filipinos). I noticed bakla Filipino men have no problem defining themselves as Asian. I wonder why?

    Don’t get me wrong, the term Asian also means industrious, edcuated, and innovative. But honey, none of those attributes makes a girl’s eyes pop in and out during sexual ecstacy, ya’ know what I mean?

    By the way, Asian also means, average or unattractive looking, rude and cold hearted, and hygiene-challenged. FYI…

    Again, it is just stereotype. Really, Filipino-men should think before they speak. Maybe it is a cruel blessing our names sound Hispanic. Filipino men are well known lovers anyways (Not Chinese Filipinos). Is it a wonder why magnifying glasses make a wonderful wedding present for a Chinese newly married couple?

    Tootles!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: