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I wanna be emo, honest

I’ve a confession to make. Since I’m so into fashion these days that I’m starting to doubt if I’m not gay, I need to tell you this: I want to be an emo. Yes, you hear it right, E-M-O. I know my girlfriend will kill me for this. But girlfriend, I know you knew this all along, so this won’t come as a shock to you anymore. If this means goodbye, please give me back the eyeliner I sent you last Christmas because I actually bought that for me and my emo friends for our emo nights spent watching emo concerts on some emo parking lot under the gray emo sky.

And to make you understand fully my new emo lifestyle, I did a research just for you and your non-emo friends, because emos will soon rule the world with our emo skateboards, our emo hair in front of our eyes — no, just one eye — our emo tight jeans and black shirts, our old-as-grandma emo chucks, our eyeliners (but I told you that already), and our emo sketch books, and books of emo poetry that we don’t read, and most of all our emo hatred for life. Can’t you see? We look so emo angry and emo depressed. See? See? GRRRRRRRRR!!!

Sorry for the outburst. Outburst is just so emo. Anyway, here’s my emo research (from urbandictionary.com). This is our emo lifestyle. Read it or I’ll cut my emo wrists on YouTube.

What is emo?

An entire subculture of people (usually angsty teens) with a fake personality. The concept of Emo is actually a vicious cycle that never ends, to the utter failing of humanity, and it goes something like this:

1. Girls say they like “sensitive guys” (lie)
2. Guy finds out, so he listens to faggy emo music and dresses like a dork so chicks will see that he is sensitive and not afraid to express himself (lie). He dyes his hair black, wraps himself in a stupid looking scarf, develops an eating disorder, and rants about how “nobody understands”.
3. Now an emo guy, he meets Emo chick and they start dating, talking about how their well-off suburban lifestyles are terrible and depressing (lie)
4. Emo guy is just too much of a pussy. His penis is too small, he’s too depressed to bathe, and has more mood swings than emo chick, and he doesn’t even have a menstrual cycle. Emo chick dumps him, saying “It’s not you, it’s me,” (lie) as she drives off with Wayne, the school jock and captain of the football team.
5. Emo guy goes home and cries, proceeds to write a weak song and strum a single string on his acoustic guitar. Another emo chick sees how he is so in touch with his feelings, and the cycle continues.

This is the sad truth of the emo lifestyle/music, and now that I look at how pathetic it really is, maybe the emos DO have something to cry about!

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17 Responses to “I wanna be emo, honest”

  1. hey boyfriend, my lost pup already ate your eyeliner. She might be an emo pup too, i’ll never know now. Maybe she’s already so deep in the emo world.

    and, tsk tsk, no wonder you have more mood swings than me, it was the emo inclination all along. damn. πŸ˜‰

  2. in fairness ha, there really was a time that i was fixated with emo people. I even blogged about them. Naa man gud ko friend na emo ba, loves emo music, looks the part–and then she started cutting herself. I was like, is it really part of the whole emo lifestyle?? the cutting and all the gorryness? there are people who just love the fashion and the music, but they don’t really live it. Sad ang life sa people who really live the emo lifestyle…

  3. ech, let’s just pray for mershmers (i still find the name weird. hehehe. but what the heck. she’s a cute dog). i hope whoever stole her takes good care of her. we’ll buy a new puppy come pay day. πŸ™‚

  4. really?? new puppy??? yey!!!! πŸ™‚

  5. mga hinayupak talaga! hehehe…
    no offense, but i really don’t understand their lifestyle..
    maybe i’m just the type of person na di jud mamroblema bisag dako na butang.. hehehe…

  6. unsa man diay ana name sa inyong pup chiloy?! si paches o si mershmers?! πŸ™‚

  7. hehe. i named her mweshmers. chester named her paches. pagka tong bataa! πŸ˜‰

  8. back in my nursing days, magtight fitting jeans mi, do the chucks getup, wear black every saturday afternoon(nahibulong na akong mama ngano puro black na akong sinina sa cabinet),makigsiksikan sa washroom sa ayala kay mamutang ug eyeliner,then off we go sa lagoon,=)..
    yes, i was one of those emo kids sauna sa ayala lagoon.. ssshhh,ato2 ra ni ha, i dont even know what i was doin’ there.. all i know is that i love the muzik nga gitripan pud nila, handuraw, vudu,outpost, casbah,bisan asa nga parking lot ug baranggay/school gyms, bisan asa ang mga banda, naa mi!
    luckily, wa ko naglaslas pero i know a lot who did try..nya ako primary pic sa friendster sauna kay puro emo2 ug pose, =)..

    the reason why niundang nko sa akong emo2 mode?? i found out nga nana diay nauna nga gurlfriend akong emo kid nga trato!!! wahahha,=)..
    pero that didn’t stop me from going to gigs, this time around magpink nko ug shirt! =)

    at yan po ang kwento ng emo kung buhay tita charo..

  9. the whole emo thing is a phase…especially when they feel a bond with the other emo kids. they’ll all grow tired of it sooner or later. well, unless they end up committing suicide from all the emotional pressure.

  10. “hehe. i named her mweshmers. chester named her paches. pagka tong bataa! ;)”

    hahaha..
    bsag unsa pa name niya, cute ghapon! hehehe…
    hope you do find another one cute pup… πŸ˜‰

  11. nice article…:) my high school cousins love “emo” the so-called emo…it’s strange though…black eyeliners for christmas…black shirts for new year..emo love songs…emo guys…i wonder if my boyfriend is a certified “emo” inside his dark room…

  12. hi rhea. long time. uuuyyyyy, naa na siyay boyfriend. πŸ™‚

  13. yah, my boyfriend…he’s not an emo kuno…haha emotional lang…

  14. if ur really are goin’ emo you gotta be prepared for everyone to hate you. And me think that emo’s will rule the world too, sooner or later. But wat do i know cause i’m only 11 and there’s only 2 emo things about me 1. dyed my hair black 2. listen to emo music (secondhand serenade, & fall out boy) can’t include crying cause i only cry when i brake a bone probaboly from skateboarding or someone really close to me died like my girlfriend or a relative.

  15. i felt being emo when i was confussed about everything…. it lasted for long till i find my self liking goth… they’re cooler….

  16. mo-tuo na ang mga emo sa mga kasulatan?

  17. I just want to be emo……………………


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